Staying hopeful

me to myself when I’m procrastinating. Source

Ramadan is amazing. I could write pages on how blessed this month is and how it magically transforms our souls. But people have already done this and they’ve done it way better than I ever could. So this post is about me.

My heart feels void. Even after 10 days I do not have the Ramadan feeling that it so desperately earns for, that feeling I have basked in before and that feeling I hear people talk about now. My prayers feel empty, my mind distracted and my body reluctant.

I feel so alone in my thoughts. Whilst everyone is on their high, I am at my lowest. I had hoped to spend this time reading, contemplating and watching inspirational videos. Instead I’m spending my days in bed, on my phone. Even starting this blog is a procrastination tool!

But I have not lost hope. And by the will of Allah I will continue trying.

  • I will do a little everyday and hope to add to that everyday until it becomes a habit. This includes praying on time, praying tahhajjud, and ensuring I still remember the parts of the Quran I had learnt before and do not often read
  • This is the month of the Quran and I will focus on reading Allah’s words. Some days it’s barely anything and other days it’s a lot. I’m slow but I will keep going. And even when I am not reading, I hope to have Quran playing in the background.
  • I pray taraweeh in my local mosque, letting the beautiful recitation wash over me.
  • I will sincerely talk to my Lord. Tell Him my struggles, ask Him for help, thank Him for all I have, beg Him for forgiveness and pray for all those suffering around me.
  • I will make myself realistic targets, review them weekly and add to them when they become habit. I will continue calling to my Lord, telling Him my fears and my struggles.

I will have faith. I will stay hopeful.

“…And if My servant draws near to Me by a hand’s span, I would draw near to him by an arm’s length and if he draws near to Me by an arm’s length, I would draw near to him by a fathom’s length. And if My servant comes to me walking, I would go to him running” – Allah, narrated in Bukari

Wishing everyone a blessed Ramadan. And to my brothers and sisters – may our worship be sincere and continue. May Allah accept them. And may we be amongst the blessed ones who leave this month with all our sins forgiven. Ameen

Disclaimer: I am no scholar and I am no model for all Muslims. I state this because too often the actions of one Muslim is used to brand all. I am just me.

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6 thoughts on “Staying hopeful

  1. I don’t see this blog as a procrastination tool, we don’t share the same religion so I’m not sure how accurate this may be in relation to yours but quite possibly maybe this blog is exactly what you are meant to be doing maybe you are helping someone thru their journey and you don’t even realize it. So stay strong and keep striving for your goals but always remember even the little things that seem like distractions may be exactly where you need to be at this point in time.

    Liked by 1 person

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