Settle down with your perfect someone. That’s the dream we’re taught to wait for – from Disney, from the media and from friends. But I’m 23 and I still don’t know what perfect is to me.
We dated for seven years. He knows things about me that no one else knows. He is cool, energetic and can make friends with anyone. A bad boy, the type all the girls lusted over. He made me brave and with him I found myself. We almost got married. But he cheated. And he lied. He’s not the perfect someone.
One of my closest friends revealed he had feelings for me in the past but they were gone now. Now there’s an unspoken pact never to bring it up again. He’s smart and witty – we can talk for hours and he can make me laugh even when I’m angry. He gets me. But he’s lazy, apathetic and a child stuck in a man’s body. He’s not the perfect someone.
We’ve been friends for just over a year. He’s inspiring, a real world shaker. He knows things and feeds my mind. A real hipster – achieved without even trying. But he’s arrogant, a womaniser and I spend most of our time telling him off. He’s not the perfect someone.
A friend tried to set me up with his friend. We share common interests, have so many mutal friends and his faith is as important to him as it is to me. He’s a leader and loved by many. I know he’ll push me to be a better version of myself. But I just don’t feel attracted to him. And he likes cats. He’s not the perfect someone.
We met a few times with mutal friends. His smile warmed my soul and his gentle way healed me even in that short moment. There’s something raw about the way I feel about him. But I know nothing about him. And he knows nothing about me. We are worlds apart. He’s not the perfect someone.
My mum’s friend mentioned her son is single and looking to get married. We have not met yet but I was told he has graduated from university, is a family loving man and kinda cute. But he works in a retail store (and so will earn a significant amount less than me). This shouldn’t matter but I’ve learnt from experience that men go funny when they’re not the primary breadwinner, society makes them feel like they’ve failed. He is several years older than me and he still lives with his parents. He’s not the perfect someone.
I am loving and passionate, wanting to change my world. I love to listen and will always make time for others even when I can’t. I am smart, not afraid to own a world typically ruled by men. But I am moody and will hide things. I can barely cook and am extremely messy. I am career orientated, and still unsure about if I want children. I don’t trust people to get things done right and spread myself too thin. I’m not the perfect someone.
So whilst I wait for my perfect someone I’ll work on myself to become the perfect someone.
Make sure you have your own life before becoming someone’s wife – Beyoncé