As a child I kept many private journals, using obvious code names to describe other people and talking about my daily doings. Unfortunately my family do not consider privacy to be one of our most important values and my siblings would often sneak into my room and take a peak. This of course meant I had to be very careful about what I revealed. I never talked about my sexual abuse, never talked about any crushes, never talked about my family – it was always about school and friends.
Now this may sound boring at best and pointless at worst but I did not write just because I wanted all my thoughts recorded down for a future me to chuckle and reminisce. In fact, I don’t even know where I’ve put any of these journals and I believe I’ve chucked all the ones from my recent years away (too pained by what I had written about my ex). No. The reason why I wrote is because I loved writing.
I also liked writing stories. But there was something about writing musings and thoughts that meant I could for hours – the loud voices in my mind talking over each other so they could be heard, waiting to seep out and be written in ink.
During university by daily thoughts became more and more those I could not risk writing down. So I didn’t, storing them in my head, hoping one day I will be able to write them out anonymously. Until I realised recently – just 2 weeks ago in fact – that I could do that now! And so I birthed Being Woke. I’ve previously explained my reason behind the name. Funnily enough the name isn’t one I thought about deeply. As soon as it popped into my head, I knew it fit.
But then something else happened. I was welcomed into a whole community, with a whole world of topics and styles of writing. I have begun spending more time exploring, discovering and getting lost in other voices than I do voicing my own. And when I thought Being Woke would be my own private space on the big web, I now realise not to be the case. How amazing that I can write all the things I was afraid to before and be heard at the same time.
I know I’m not perfect, far from it! But I’m hoping through recording my thoughts daily I will continue to develop. Being heard has acted as an unplanned reinforcement. I feel empowered and ready to trust my words. Ready to keep going. And perhaps even, one day, ready to sign my name against my writing and be heard.
For what reasons did you start writing online? And what sort of blogs do you like reading?
Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable – David Augsburger
[This has been written as part of Blogging 101. Where I have been asked to explain the purpose of my blog. You may have noticed I’ve also recently changed my tagline. What do you think?]