Self-care is an act of political warfare. Learn to share only when you have the strength to do so. Say no when you do not. Say nothing when even this is not possible.
Our pain matters. Our words are worth something. Our experience is real.
We are not exotic. We are not submissive or unduly angry. We are not different to the others.
There is a difference between offensive and oppressive. And we know when we are being oppressed. By their words, by their actions, by their systems. We can recognise the dull pain it causes deep in our stomach.
And so we do not have to explain it. Not why we do what we do. Not why we want what we want. And certainly not when we hurt the way we do.
Expecting marginalised peoples to disregard their own emotions to calmly educate you is the epitome of entitlement
being woke 
Saying no should never make us feel guilty and also others should feel free to say no to us.
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It shouldn’t but it’s a skill we have to learn. Not everyone has it and over time we can learn it.
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