Dear future me

In just a few days I will enter a world I don’t know. The corporate world. And I’m terrified. Frightened of the place, the people, the money, but more so of what I could become. So here’s a reminder to future me, for the times the present me is not so familiar anymore.

Be You

You’re adaptable. You’ve been able to fit in your whole life, being in but feeling out. But you’ve found who you are now. Know the world you’re entering and know that it is not you. So when you’re trying to mix in, don’t forget how happy you felt to find your cause and faith, how much you care and how important your values are to you.

Our Voice Matters

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”- Dr Seuss

Sometimes we mute ourselves. We worry about saying something that will sound like we’re making a fuss. Our voices as women are quietened and as women of colour silenced. We are reminded we sound bossy. We sound aggressive. We don’t know what we’re talking about. We don’t sound like that passive, attractive women of their dreams anymore.

If something makes you feel uneasy, sends a pulse down to your stomach, does not sit right in your mind – you are not making a fuss. Your voice is important. You are confident. You are brave. You do know.

Because only you will know what your experience has taught you. It should not be ignored. You are not just the other.

So that comment that sounds a little racist or sexist, that joke that wasn’t so funny, that question simply inappropriate – call them out. Our voice matters.

Perhaps they will tell you you’re making a big deal out of nothing. Perhaps they will call you bossy. Perhaps they will call you aggressive. It may hurt. People those who you thought you trusted betray you. Allies broken.

But you’ll feel lighter – having done your bit – trying to make the world a better place for everyone. You’ll surround yourself with people who genuinely care. People who love you. People who empower you. And not those who clip your wings and muzzle your mind. Your voice will have mattered. And for that at least you can be proud.

Jouska

BuzzFeed 

I talk through conversations with guys I wish would date me and guys who I would not date but would like them to notice me anyway. I make up interesting stories I would tell them and hear their replies. They love me.

I talk through meetings I have attended and will attend. I say the things I am not brave enough to say and show the sass I would not usually present. I am right and I prove them wrong. They respect me.

I talk through scenarios I wish I had with my father and mum. I imagine things I would have said and the way they would have responded. He does not hurt me and she listens to me. I am not rude and I do not hurt her. She is proud of me.

The voices in my head belong to my closest male friend. He argues with me when I am unsure of my decisions. He goes through hypothetical scenarios and hashes out all my comebacks. He replays embarrassing stories to me with added alternatives on how it should have happened. He keeps me awake with conversations I would love to have but am too shy to have.

And the voice keeps talking until I forget which of the memories is real and which is just my friend’s.

What do the voices in your head tell you?