Mixed Messages

guys will hear what they want to hear.

This is the advice my friend, male, gave me when I retold a story of how a guy I had just met at a conference practically proposed to me. As I recalled the conversation I had with this eager beaver, my friend explained the meaning behind every phrase. Me saying I had enjoyed meeting the awesome people translated as he was awesome, for example.

No. Just no.

Now this is an extreme case, but over the years, I have had the problem of giving mixed messages to guys. Somehow, me pulling up a chair so they could sit next to me rather than stand, helping with coursework, offering advice with their own love life turned to proclamation of my own love interest for them. These guys were seeing stuff that just wasn’t there. I called them mate and bro. I never let them call me babe or kissed them on the cheek. I let them know I was in a long-term relationship (when this was the case). Continue reading