2016

Looking back at this year I am honestly struggling to think of positives. This year has taken many of our greats, and has replaced them with continual wars, noticeable rise in fascism and  uncertainty.

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The year is 365 days long. Yet it is hard to think of highlights when the most recent news is filled with children dying in Aleppo, Trump and Brexit happening so recently and, on a personal level, being stuck on a project I am not enjoying at all. Our perspectives are warped and bloated – bubbles of despair far outweighing the small pockets of hope we have seen.

And there have been pockets – the election of Malia, the first Muslim women president of NUS – someone who has put liberation in the heart of all she does, #BLM, Momentum. But even Momentum is fractured and Black Lives Matter UK is working on its direction and Malia continues to work on fires caused by those unwilling to give her a chance. I am in a new relationship and it is going very well. And dare I say it, I think I am in love. But we live in two different cities and navigating our relationship long term will be a struggle.

Tomorrow will be like today. A few seconds on a clock do not bring certainty where so much uncertainty exists. Do not provide answers to questions and do not rid us of the pain we have carried for the last 365. But unlike tomorrow we have this concept of a new year. So we can pretend it is a new beginning. We can try and better ourselves at least.

Perhaps nothing will change. But for my sanity I will change. I will refresh my outlook. Go in ready to take on the battles like they are new, with new energy and new resolve. I will try again like I have not tried a million times before. And maybe, just maybe, it will all work out differently this time.

I wish everyone a blessed New year and pray you are able to overcome this year. 

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Keeping memories: 5 awesome ways to record 2016

Still on the New Years hype and came across cute ideas to make this year one to remember. Journaling is quite daunting for many people so here are 5 ways you can still capture 2016 with minimum effort. I know it’s already the 2nd day but it’s easy to catch up on a few days.

  1. Memory jar:

    (Image from who-arted.com)

    Use an empty mason jar and fill with one memory to summarise the day. This can be a comment someone said, somewhere you went – any memory from the day. Write the date on the paper too. Fold it up and place in the jar. By the end of the year you will have 365 memories to look back on and can make a scrap book out of them.

  2. heyday app: a person journal on your phone. This app automatically collates where you’ve been and your photos everyday – a journal that writes itself. I’ve not used the app before but have just downloaded it so will follow up with an edit on how it goes.
  3. Memory box:

    (image from Design Sponge*)

    A box full of index cards for everyday of the year. You write one line summary of the day. Next year, you would write another line beneath the previous year – and reminisce about the day you had the year before. This idea takes a little effort to make – step by step instructions can be found here (check out the comments section for links to buying the box) – but I think it’s worth it. For those of you unable to make the box – here’s a book you can buy that has the same idea.

  4. Social media: private accounts are a great space to store memories. Tweet your daily happenings with a 140-character limit or Instragram a photo a day. Create a different Snapchat account and add yourself. Now, every time you send a snap – ones that you’ll want to remember – send a copy to yourself. Log in next year to see the whole story.
  5. Ticket box:

    (image from inspiredhoneybox)

    Fill a shadow box (a photoframe designed to let you put items in) with tickets collected throughout the year. This can include anything you want – holidays, cinema, theme parks, comedy shows, even restaurants. And this is an especially cute idea for couples where you can write “admit two”.

Happy memory collecting. Personally going to stick to the memory jar because I love creating scrapbooks and I think it’ll make a lovely scrapbook. I have also downloaded Heyday and am excited to see how that works.

Sometimes you will never know the true value of a moment until it become a memory – Unknown

I write

I write.

I write because the words I want to say remain jumbled in my mind, the voices repeating themselves again and again – so loudly yet remaining silent. Taunting me with the “you should have said this” and “you could have responded with that”. Hindsight. I want to feel the joy when I say it like I meant it and you get it like I intended it and we connect – even just for a little while.

I write so my heart aches less and to fill the void in my soul. To release build up of pain and bottling of frustration. I want to feed the juices that run through me, feel the buzz, rejoice in the energy.

I write to hide from my world. The judging eyes and piercing lips that with just a few sounds can crush my spirit. I want to feel unchained and winged. To say what I want without the fear of politics or religion or love getting in the way.

I write to be the many sides of me. To be more than my big brain or small body. I want to be multi-dimensional and fluid. The happy, the angry, the strong, the lonely.

I write because I can. Because I can’t say. Because you don’t see. Because we don’t listen.

First date: the post-nerves 

So I went on my first date yesterday! I was super nervous but thankfully it went well! I didn’t faint, choke or do anything too embarrassing and here I am telling the tale so he didn’t end up being a murderer.

Actually thinking about it now it went really well. Conversation was flowing, he made me feel very at ease and time just flew by! He kept scoring brownie points after brownie points – leading to fixing of a second date. I know it’s way too early to tell if this will lead to anything serious but the signs are looking positive.

Here are my top 5 ‘this ones a keeper’ moments:  Continue reading

First Date: the pre-nerves

I’m going on my first date since the big break up. I haven’t really blogged about it before but I mention both him and the new guy here. This is the guy who I said isn’t the perfect someone because the initial attraction just wasn’t there. Since then we’ve bumped into each other a few times – we have a tonne of mutal friends – so I learnt a little more about him. He’s actually a pretty awesome guy but also very humble. So we’ve decided to give it a go.

I’ve never been on a date before. My ex is the only person I have ever been with and we were good friends before he asked me out, so there wasn’t any awkward getting to know each other period. So, naturally, I’m feeling super nervous.  Continue reading

That perfect someone 

Settle down with your perfect someone. That’s the dream we’re taught to wait for – from Disney, from the media and from friends. But I’m 23 and I still don’t know what perfect is to me. 

We dated for seven years. He knows things about me that no one else knows. He is cool, energetic and can make friends with anyone. A bad boy, the type all the girls lusted over. He made me brave and with him I found myself. We almost got married. But he cheated. And he lied. He’s not the perfect someone.

Continue reading