Being an outsider 

The trouble with being part of so many groups is that you’re not really part of any group. They have their party. They have their trip. They have their jokes and their many quips. I can follow it all – smile, understand, blend in.

Yet I am seeing it all happen through a frosty window. I can feel the warmth but only as I walk past. I’m not who they target, who they meant to include.

Why are you such a beg?

So I scroll down my feed, wondering if they miss me – knowing that they don’t. Barely relevant, no longer a student, never the corporate man. Simple shadows of the various versions of the groups, never a solid whole. Peeking in but unable to join. Just an outsider – left out in the cold.

And to our Lord we return

Yesterday I was devastated to hear the passing of an amazing guy, who drowned in an accident whilst abroad. A leader, a friend, a brother to so many. Innallahi wa innallahi rajiun. To our Lord we belong, and to Him we return.

I am still in shock. He was active on Facebook just eight hours before I heard the news. At first I thought it was a joke, I just saw him the other day, he’s so young – still in his 20s, how can this even be?

I cannot explain to you how loved he was, and by so many – he was so warm, so funny, so humble, always thinking of others. People knew him from all over the country and abroad. He has raised thousands for charity, organised soul-enriching events, and he has revived a whole movement. In the few years he walked this earth, he dedicated his life to Islam and Muslim youth. World renowned scholars and artists are writing statuses about him – testament to the legacy that his work, his character and his efforts have left behind. He knew thousands of people, and I don’t think even one of those people could say a bad word about him. How many of us can the say the same about the much smaller group of people that know us? Even though I had met him twice, his character was such that I am grieving like I’ve known him for years.

The time and circumstances of his passing are among the most honourable of ways to return to our Lord. He has drowned, a shaheed, and in the blessed month of Ramadan when the doors of Hellfire are closed. Please keep him and his family and friends in your prayers. How glorious that Allah chose to take his life in that way – in a place that he had described as the most beautiful lake he had ever seen and in water, where he had dedicated himself to building wells. Please donate what you can to his final charity project.

A reminder to myself, death does not wait for us to grow old. I look at what I have achieved and wonder if I am ready for my Lord. The answer is no. Even in death he has inspired me.

If we do not meet again, I pray Allah unites us in Jannah – Bashir Osman Ameen