Jouska

BuzzFeed 

I talk through conversations with guys I wish would date me and guys who I would not date but would like them to notice me anyway. I make up interesting stories I would tell them and hear their replies. They love me.

I talk through meetings I have attended and will attend. I say the things I am not brave enough to say and show the sass I would not usually present. I am right and I prove them wrong. They respect me.

I talk through scenarios I wish I had with my father and mum. I imagine things I would have said and the way they would have responded. He does not hurt me and she listens to me. I am not rude and I do not hurt her. She is proud of me.

The voices in my head belong to my closest male friend. He argues with me when I am unsure of my decisions. He goes through hypothetical scenarios and hashes out all my comebacks. He replays embarrassing stories to me with added alternatives on how it should have happened. He keeps me awake with conversations I would love to have but am too shy to have.

And the voice keeps talking until I forget which of the memories is real and which is just my friend’s.

What do the voices in your head tell you?

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